Music videos, Abuse and Responsiblity.

Let me start by saying I am NOT an Eminem fan. I find him vulgar, jarring and although he is not afraid to tackle tough topics I find his use of foul language and shock tactics in his songs and videos unnecessary. His latest song is no different in those respects. Love the way you lie tackles the topic of Domestic Violence head on and he peppers the "song" (I use the term loosely) with the F word at least 3 times.

All that being said I felt it needed to be discussed especially after reading this article on the Washington Post. Where they state "The debate has begun: Is the song a treatise against (or apology for) domestic violence or an irresponsible glorification of it? Or, is it something uncomfortable in between? And how to explain the role of Rihanna, who has said that she aims to help young people learn the lessons of her ordeal?"

Personally I think it has the potential to be both. The reality is this video will do one of 2 things it will either desensitize and numb people to the violence in our homes make it harder for victims to reach out and get the help they need or it will begin a dialogue that helps break the silence and secrecy surrounding relationship violence.
I think Marjorie Gilberg, executive director of Break the Cycle, which works to end teen violence hit the nail on the head when she said "The danger is that pop culture defines our social norms," Gilberg says. "We don't want the message of this song to be that this kind of relationship is acceptable. So this song has to be viewed in the context of real information from adults, like parents and teachers."

In other words we have a responsibility to discuss what is being put out there. It is our job as parents, teachers, concerned citizens to start a dialogue about this video and abuse in all its forms and continue that dialogue until everyone knows that abuse is NEVER acceptable and it is OK to talk about it.

Megan Fox helped start that dialogue when she donated all the money she earned from staring in the video to the Sojourn House, a Women's Shelter.
Rhianna helped further the dialogue when she said to MTV "It was believable for us to do a record like that, but it was also something that needed to be done and the way he did it was so clever," the singer said. "He pretty much just broke down the cycle of domestic violence and it's something that a lot people don't have a lot of insight on, so this song is a really, really powerful song and it touches a lot of people."

Rhianna is right this is a topic that touches far too many. With Break the Cycle reporting 1 in 3 women, 1 in 5 teens and 1 in 6 men are victims of relationship violence the topic needs to be discussed and videos like this one are one of the many tools available to start the discussion.

As a survivor of both Dating and Domestic Violence I feel like this video has the amazing potential to bring attention to a serious topic. As a mom and survivor I know we have a responsibility to make sure that is what it is used for. I firmly believe if we aren't part of the solution we are part of the problem. I'd love to see everyone use this as an opportunity to become part of the solution. I know we'll be discussing in our home... will you?